Ways to Get Revenge on Your Editor

Are you an author who wants to put the hurt on your editor?

Has you brilliance been chopped by 1, 5, 10 thousand words!?

Enough is enough! The time for revenge is here! Brought to you by an author who is breaking new ground in the world of editor torture.

Here are a few of my favorites:

  1. Lose v. Loose – blatantly mis-use these words, continue until, eye twitch develops.
  2. “Drug” – It’s the past tense of ‘drag,’ right?
  3. If your editor leaves you snarky comment (“Could you stay in one POV for at least a few paragraphs?”) Put SPOILERS ABOUT THE LATEST SEASON OF GREY’S ANATOMY IN THE COMMENTS. Bwah ha ha!
  4. Misspell your characters names, and then forget their titles.
  5. If your editor were so RUDE as to delete your GENIUS ice-dildo scene, send your editor inappropriate emails to her day-job email
  6. Blame everything on the second law of thermo dynamics
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22 thoughts on “Ways to Get Revenge on Your Editor

  1. Ahem.

    Are you an author who wants to put the hurt on your editor?
    *note use of colloquialism and slang*

    Has you brilliance been chopped by 1, 5, 10 thousand words!?
    *Spelling error: youR
    *Sense error: Insert ‘or’ between 5 and 10 to increase readability*

    Enough is enough! The time for revenge is here! Brought to you by an author who is breaking new ground in the world of editor torture.
    *Grammar error: sentence fragment*
    *Punctuation error: overindulgence in exclamation points*

    Here are a few of my favorites:

    Lose v. Loose – blatantly mis-use these words, continue until, eye twitch develops.
    *Punctuation error: comma splice error*

    “Drug” – It’s the past tense of ‘drag,’ right?
    *Punctuation error: inconsistent use of quotation marks*

    If your editor leaves you snarky comment (”Could you stay in one POV for at least a few paragraphs?”) Put SPOILERS ABOUT THE LATEST SEASON OF GREY’S ANATOMY IN THE COMMENTS. Bwah ha ha!
    *Grammar error: plural agreement error*

    Misspell your characters names, and then forget their titles.
    *Punctuation error: missing apostrophe*

    If your editor were so RUDE as to delete your GENIUS ice-dildo scene, send your editor inappropriate emails to her day-job email
    *Grammar error: subject-verb agreement error
    *Punctuation error: inconsistent use of punctuation*

    Blame everything on the second law of thermo dynamics
    *Spelling error: thermodynamics
    *Punctuation error: inconsistent use of punctuation

  2. oh lila, this is precious! roflmao. really! the techno babble excuse was great. As for Katidid’s comments, does it make you feel better, Lila, to know that i read them all and understood only half of her corrections? So, the ice dildo scene… was that cut for characterization purposes or to avoid offensive torture content?

  3. Dee and Mima- Thanks for stopping by.

    Dee- I! Love! Exclamation! Points! Aren’t! They! Great!?!!?

    🙂

    Mima- I did some of it on purpose to screw with her head, cuz I’m evil like that. Most of it… no clue what she’d talking about. She could be making the whole thing up.
    As for cutting the scene, aparently you can’t just let the plot dangle for 15 thousand words while your characters have kinky sex. The story ‘drags’ whatever that means. 😉

  4. Lila, Lila, Lila!

    Be nice to your editor. Good editors are hard to find and worth their weight in gold, which makes Kate a rare treasure.

    BTW, I love emdashes. And on the POV thing? Switching POVs too quickly causes mental whiplash — not a pretty picture.

  5. *blush* Sorry Rae. I’ll be nicer to my Kate. I will call her squishy and she will be my squishy.

    My Kate is the Queen Demon.

    April has split personality. hehehe.

    The best part is that Kate will still be asleep for another 6-7 hours. Bwa ha ha!!

  6. I think you should add to your list of editor rants:

    Ellipses…are…good…things… 🙂

    So glad you two get along basically. Excerpt for the ice dildo thing, that is.

    (Suggestion: Bring her one as a gift next time you meet up… You may change her mind.) 😉

  7. Wow!! I’m speechless… Like April said, the writer side is giggling, but the editor side is cringing… Remind me never to piss you off… ;^)

  8. Not pissing me off should really be everyone’s life goal, as I’m not quit right.

    Bam, don’t feed her ego!

  9. Queen Kate sounds about right. I also accept Empress Kate, Goddess Kate, and Supreme Ruler of the Universe and Keeper of all Things Grammatical Kate. 🙂

    BAM, I assure you, the love is mutual.

    Lila, if you don’t want everyone knowing exactly how hard my job is, I suggest you stop proving it on open forums 🙂

    Kate

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